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书名：Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
作者：John Gray
起始部份：第二章第四节上

GIVE UP GIVING ADVICE

Without this insight into the nature of men, it's very easy for a woman unknowingly and ___1____ to hurt and offend the man she loves most.

For example, Tom and Mary were going to a party. Tom was driving. After about twenty minutes and going around the same block a few times, it was clear to Mary that Tom was lost. She finally suggested that he call for help. Tom became very silent. They eventually arrived at the party, but __2____句子听写. Mary had no idea of why he was so ___3___.

From her side she was saying "I love and care about you, so I am offering you this help."
From his side, he was offended. What he heard was "I don't trust you to get us there. You are incompetent!"

Without knowing about life on Mars, Mary couldn’t appreciate how important it was for Tom to accomplish his goal without help. Offering advice was the ____4____ insult.

After hearing about Martians and Venusians, Mary learned how to support Tom at such difficult times. The next time he was lost, instead of offering "help" she __5____ herself from offering any advice, she took a deep relaxing breath, and appreciated in her heart what Tom was trying to do for her. Tom greatly appreciated her warm trust. The evening is great to success.

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参考译文：（于海生）

    别给男人任何建议

　　在主动请缨、充当“谋士”或“后盾”这件事上，女人要格外小心，以免伤害你心爱的男人。

　　汤姆和玛丽要去参加聚会。聚会的地点不算远，但20分钟以后，驾车的汤姆，还在同一个街区转来转去——显而易见，他不小心迷路了。玛丽忍不住提出建议，让汤姆打电话求助。汤姆一言不发，冷着脸，继续寻找“迷宫”出路。最终，他们赶到了聚会上。整个晚上，汤姆的情绪都很低落，两个人之间气氛很是紧张。

　　玛丽不明白汤姆为何情绪低落。她不知道，问题恰恰出在她给汤姆的建议。

　　毫无疑问，玛丽完全出于好意。她的意思也很明确：“我是爱你，关心你，才主动帮助你，连这个都看不出来吗？！”

　　汤姆却不这样理解。他觉得尊严受到了冒犯。从妻子那里，他当时听到的信息是：“我不指望你能凭你的本事，把我们及时送到目的地。你的方向感差极了，让我不敢恭维。你真不是个能力很强的男人！”

　　假如玛丽了解“火星人和金星人”的故事，当汤姆遇到困难时，她决不会贸然行事，出谋划策。驾车的汤姆迷路时，玛丽就会抑制住冲动，不给他任何建议。她会尽可能调整好呼吸。她深切地感激汤姆为她所做的一切。对于玛丽深情的认可和信任，汤姆由衷地感激，他由此信心倍增，满怀爱意！

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