A policeman's job is never easy, but dumb criminals make it somewhat easier. This list waswhittled down from a much longer list of stories of the stupid things lawbreakers did this past year. These are in chronological order instead of rank. The dates are from the news stories; in some cases the crime itself happened earlier.
警察的工作从来都不容易，但是一些傻呼呼的罪犯却让这份工作变得轻松起来。在过去这一年里，有许多违法者做了很多傻事，这里只列出其中几个。排名不分主次，只是按照时间顺序列出。日期根据新闻报道时间，有些案例发生时间比报道时间更早。

1. Lottery Thief Sets Himself on Fire
1. 奖券小偷把自己点着了

ROME, GA June 2
罗马，格鲁吉亚，6月2日
A convenience-store thief got away, but the video from the security camera told a strange, strange tale. A man broke into the store overnight, and tried to cover his tracks by burning the place down. He threw charcoal lighter fluid around, but by the time he ignited it, the fumes had permeated the store, and he set himself on fire. While in flames, he grabbed a roll of lottery tickets and fled. At the time of the story, police were looking for a man with facial, neck, and possibly wrist burns.
一个盗窃了自助食品店的小偷逃跑了，但是保安部门的摄像头却拍下了一个非常奇怪的故事。有人在半夜里闯进了店铺，并试图烧掉此地来掩盖他的行迹。他把炭火抛向各处，但是当他点火的时候，浓烟弥漫店铺，他把自己也点着了。但是在火光中，他还是抓住了一卷彩票然后逃走了。报道此新闻的时候，警方正在追捕一名面部、颈部可能腕部均有烧伤的人。

2. Ten Hours Stuck in Restaurant Vent
2．困在饭店通风孔10小时

HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY, FL June 8
希尔斯堡城，弗洛里达，6月8日
An employee of the Lucky Buffet noticed a strange sight on arriving at the restaurant. There were legs hanging out of a vent over the grill! 45-year-old Billy Jordan had tried to enter the restaurant the night before by climbing through the ductwork, but became stuck and stayed there for ten hours. Hillsborough County Fire Rescue workers used a rope to pull Jordan back out through the roof, after which he was arrested for burglary.
Lucky Buffet的一个员工在到达饭店后，看到了一个奇怪的场景。有两条腿悬挂在铁格子上面的通风口！45岁的Billy Jordan试图在前一晚爬过管道系统进入饭店，但是却被困在那里呆了10个小时。希尔斯堡城救火队员从天花板上用一根绳索把 Jordan拉了上来。随后他因入室行窃罪被捕。

3. Immovable ATM
3．挪不动的提款机
MILWAUKEE, WI July 27
密尔沃基，威斯康星，7月27日

Three men backed a stolen vehicle through the glass front of a gas station. Their intent was to steal an ATM. But they didn't realize that ATMs are bolted to the floor. After some thought, they tied a rope around the machine and attched it to the vehicle, but still could not dislodge it. They left empty-handed. The ATM was still in working order the next day.
三个人倒车闯入了一个加油站的玻璃大门。他们想偷走一台提款机。但是他们没有意识到，提款机是闩在地上的。他们想了一想，然后用一根绳子捆住了机器，把它绑在车上，但还是没办法挪走它。他们空手而归了，提款机第二天仍然照常使用。

4. The Famous Duct Tape Bandit
4．著名的管道胶带强盗

ASHLAND, KY August 13
亚仕兰，肯塔基，8月13日
Police say Kasey Kazee entered Shamrock Liquors and attempted to rob the store. Employees were astonished that he had disguised his face by wrapping it in duct tape! The store manager chased him out with a baseball bat and an employee held him in the parking lot until police arrived. Police removed the duct tape after taking pictures, and arrested Kazee, who denied any memory of the incident.
据警方称，Kasey Kazee闯入了Shamrock Liquors，试图抢劫该店铺。店员惊奇的发现他用管道胶带把自己的脸缠了起来，加以伪装。店铺经理用棒球棍将他赶了出去，一个店员在停车场抓住了他，直到警察到来。警方牌照后拆掉了他的胶带，并逮捕了Kazee，他否认记得此事。

5. The Sign of the Crime
5．作案记号

ADLINGTON, ENGLAND September 6
阿灵顿，英国，9月6日
Peter Addison and his friend Mark Ridgeway vandalized the Toc H centre, a children's campsite building. They smashed crockery, set off fire extinguishers, and drew grafitti on the walls. Part of the grafitti said "Peter Addison was here." Police found Addison through a computer database. Both teenagers pled guilty and were ordered to pay for the damage.
Peter Addison和他的朋友Mark Ridgeway摧毁了一个儿童露营建筑Toc H centre。他们打碎了陶器、引爆灭火器、还在墙上涂鸦。涂鸦中写道“Peter Addison到此一游。”警方于是通过电脑数据库找到了Addison。两个青少年都被判有罪，并被责令赔偿损失。

Inspector Gareth Woods, of Cheshire Police, said: "This crime is up there with the dumbest of all in the criminal league table."
柴郡警局的巡官Gareth Woods说：“这次罪行是所有犯罪团伙中最笨的一个。”

"There are some pretty stupid criminals around, but to leave your own name at the scene of the crime takes the biscuit."
“愚蠢的罪犯到处都有，但是把自己的名字写在犯罪现场的实在傻透腔了。”

6. He Didn't See the Cop
6．他没看见警察

LITTLE ROCK, AR September 7
小石城，阿肯色，9月7日
21-year-old Langston Robins walked right past a uniformed police officer at the Metropolitan Bank and handed a robbery note to the teller. The unarmed would-be robber was arrested after a foot pursuit. Little Rock police spokesman Lt. Terry Hastings said:
在首都银行，当21岁的Langston Robins将一张抢劫字条递给出纳员的时候，他身边正好走过一位身穿制服的警察。这位打算徒手抢劫的强盗只跑了一步就被逮到了。小石城警方发言人Lt. Terry Hastings说：

"I just don't know why he didn't see a uniformed police officer standing basically right in front of him," Hastings tells the Associated Press. "My guess is he's just not the brightest of people."
“我只是不明白，他为什么没有看见一位身穿制服的警官站在他面前，”Hastings对美联社说，“我猜他只是不够聪明吧。”

7. He Stole a Car to Turn Himself In
7．他偷了一辆车把自己关进去了

GENEVA, NY September 13
日内瓦，纽约，9月13日
29-year-old Vincent Estrada Junior was pulled over because the car he was driving had been stolen from a parking lot. Estrada explained that he had stolen the car in order to drive to the Geneva City Police Department and turn himself in on a family court warrant! He didn't make his destination, as police took him to the Ontario County Jail instead, where he was held on car theft charges.
29岁的Vincent Estrada Junior被捕了，因为他开的这辆车是从一个停车场偷出来的。Estrada辩解说，他偷车是为了赶到日内瓦城警署，去家庭法院作证！他没能到法院，因为警察把他送到了安大略城监狱，以偷车罪入狱。
 

8. Burglar Falls Asleep Under Victim's Bed
8．夜贼在受害人的床底下睡着了

WHITLEY BAY, England September 17
怀特里湾，英国，9月17日
Usually, the burglar robs the house while the victim is asleep, but in this story, the roles were reversed. 24-year-old Mark Smith sneaked into Heather Stephenson's home, crept past her while she was ironing, and rifled through her belongings in the bedroom. Then he fell asleep under her bed. Mrs. Stephenson couldn't wake him, and police officers had to drag him out from under the bed. Smith's vodka and valium consumption were to blame. He received an 18-month sentence for burglary.
通常情况下，夜贼都在受害人睡着的情况下入室抢劫，但是在此案中，角色却对调了。24岁的Mark Smith潜入了Heather Stephenson的家中，在她熨衣服的时候蹑手蹑脚爬过她身边，到她的房间里掠夺财物。随后他在她的床底下睡着了。Stephenson太太都没能叫醒他，警察不得不把他从床底下拉出来。这都怪Smith喝了太多的伏特加，吃了太多安定。他因入室抢劫被判刑18个月。

9. Cash My Million-Dollar Bill!
9．给我的百万美钞找零！

PITTSBURGH, PA November 9
匹兹堡，宾夕法尼亚，11月9日
A man flew into a rage at the Giant Eagle supermarket when employees refused to cash a million-dollar bill. 66-year-old Samuel Porter slammed an electronic machine on the counter and refused to give his name to authorities. He was then taken to the Allegheny County Jail. The largest bill currently in circulation is the $100 dollar bill.
有个人在Giant Eagle大发雷霆，因为有职员拒绝为他的百万美钞找零。66岁的Samuel Porter撞了柜台的电子机器，并拒绝向当局报出他的姓名。其后他被送到阿利根尼县入狱。目前市面上流通的最大面值是100美元。

Bonus: It happened again soon afterwards in Georgia!
此外，不久之后在乔治亚又发生了一起这样的事件！

10. Carjacking at a Crime Scene
10．在犯罪现场劫车

RALEIGH, NC December 11
罗利市，北卡罗莱纳，12月11日
There had been a stabbing, and police were on the scene talking to a woman who had been a witness to the crime. 38-year-old Anthony William jumped into the woman's car and drove away! He was arrested the next day, easily identified by the cops who saw him steal the car.
有人遇刺，警察正在现场向一位目击犯罪过程的女性问话。38岁的Anthony William跳到女目击者的车里，把车开走了！他第二天就被捕了，目击了他偷车过程的警察很轻易的就认出了他。

翻译： francis
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