When my mother and father divorced, I felt like it was the end of the world. It seemed as if a cold had settled over me, and that there was no such thing as a
reliable relationship anymore. But as I've grown older, I've actually come to appreciate the breakup.My family went through some growing
painsand we all had to re-evaluate ourselves and our family dynamics,
butultimately the divorce has served to bring my family closer together than we might have been had my parents not separated.
My parents divorced when I was around 11 years old. I never thought I'd see my father again. However, he didn't just vanish from sight. He lived in the same neighborhood, and he'dseemy brother and mepretty much every weekend. I had to adjust to not seeing my dad every day anymore, which was difficult, but with time things got easier. We would go to a movie or out to dinner on weekends, and I discovered aides of him I never knew before. My father seemed happier, and in return he lavished affection on me and my brother, something he'd never really done before. These experiences with my dad encouraged me to start focusing on the positive aspects of the divorce, and the good that cam come from it.As I got older, I found my older brother was quickly becoming my best friend and advisor, something that wouldn't have happened to me had my father still been living at home. My brother helped me when I needed to know how to ask out girls or how to fight, and he even helped me with my calculus homework at night when my mother would be at school. If my dad had been there all the time, I wouldn't have had the same opportunity to really get to know and respect my brother in the same way. Now that I'm almost a "man", I see how I have become what I am by learning from my father's mistakes and from the resourceful advice of my brother. I'm sure it wasn't always easy for my brother to take on this mentoring role, but he rose to the challenge andwas always there for me when I needed him.My relationship with my mother is also extremely close, closer than it would have been had my father lived at home and persevered in the negative behavior. that ultimately led to their divorce. My mom is a strong woman and she's always beenhonest and supportive, even in the worst of times. Following the divorce, she worked really hard to keep our family thriving, even under our new arrangement.
I'm not saying that the divorce was a wonderful event, but I believe that the bond between my mother, brother, and myself is much stronger since we learned valuable lessons about depending on one another rather than on some kind of Ward Cleaver father-husband figure. My relationship with my dad has also improved. There have been hard times without my father around, but in the end, the "trouble" of my parents' divorce actually opened a few doors for my family, and presented the opportunity for us to grow even closer to one another.
