道路安全８分作文严师点评

2005年9月10 严惩司机

the only way to improve the safety in the roads is to give much stricter punishment for driving offences.Agree or Disagree?

Recent years have witnessed a worsening trend in road safety. According to statistics from the local authority, the number of traffic accidents in 2004 was 20% greater than that of the previous year. The issue is gaining more and more concern of the public, some of whom propose that stricter punishment on traffic offenders should be the only way to ensure road safety. As far as I am concerned, I hold that punishment should not be only solution to the problem.81

开头字数比正常要求偏多，worsening trend, gain concern, traffic offender, ensure safety等措辞不错，类似的表达还很多：deteriorating situation, arouse colossal concern, traffic perpetrator, enable/assure traffic security 等。

There is certainly no denying that stricter penalties may to some extent bring down the number of accidents on motorways as a deterrent to driving offences. Besides, the government may enjoy a greater revenue from severer fines, which can in turn be used to improve road conditions.47

严惩的好处一是对犯罪分子构成震慑，二是增加收入，用于道路建设。观点很有说服力。语言上strict penalties, severe fines 替换地不错，还可用pose a deterrent, deter traffic crimes, imperative approach 等表达。

However, we shall never overlook the other side of the coin: punishment has its downsides. Fines, as the most common penalty for driving violations, tend to instill in people the misconception that money can pay off their guilt and resolve the problem. As a result, we can see many cases where the traffic offender commits the same or another mistake even after having been fined a lot. In spite of heavier punishment, road safety cannot be enhanced unless drivers are equipped with sufficient driving skills and knowledge. Recently there have emerged many irresponsible driving schools that have produced a host of unqualified drivers, contributing to more traffic offences. Thus tight control on driving schools and the driving testing system is needed as well to improve road safety. Furthermore, advertisements and campaigns concerned should be launched to raise the public awareness. When people are fully aware of the importance of abiding traffic rules, accidents may hopefully be eliminated.157

严惩的弊端是容易滋生金钱赎罪的错误观念，因此还要配合严格培训和宣传。语言上，instill misconception, heavy punishment, enhance safety, launch campaign, raise awareness, abide rules, (应为abide by),eliminate accidents。观点上还可写，systematic and comprehensive laws and regulations is the first and foremost line of defense to the traffic delinquency .语言上还可写，arouse awareness, comply with laws and regulations, hinder/impede/barrier accidents/tragedy/mishaps,该段句型上被动句和非谓语动词值得好好学习。

From the above discussion, it is clear that only stricter punishment is not enough to enhance road safety. Instead, it should go hand in hand with closer control on driving schools and the testing system as well as higher public awareness. 326

结尾重申，前呼后应。语言上简洁概括。还可用的措辞：inadequate, strengthen security, rigid control and supervision should be exercise over the training process as well as the evaluation measure to perfect the road safety.总之，是一篇很值得大家“小5大6”一把的多维营养高分作文！

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